I'll bet she douches with gravy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
