The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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