So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize