Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
