He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
