those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
