He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
