My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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