You can't motorboat a personality
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
