You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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