maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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