AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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