so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
