Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize