Plan B is the new Plan A
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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