really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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