bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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