I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize