I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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