i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
