She said her name was "party"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize