So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
well you can't waste a boner
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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