I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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