Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize