You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
