dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
