so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have fence marks all over my body
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
