Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
