He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Your tits are I can't wait for
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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