Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
