Christians are straight up FREAKS
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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