So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
