You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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