The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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