it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
