Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize