last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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