could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
