my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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