The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
