Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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