If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
