I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
