that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
