just tell him i said nine months
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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