I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
