She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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