I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
