How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
