it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
