the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
