Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
