brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
