I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize