After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
