There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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