You're so nebulous sometimes
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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