I'm really into asian looking animals
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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