Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
