I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
