I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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