I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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