is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
