drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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