We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize