I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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